My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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