Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
