You just made me feel so damn special
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
