Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
