Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i came on her dog
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
