Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
