There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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