So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize