great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
