We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
