"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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