It's like God shit irony all over that family
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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