There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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