I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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