i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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