i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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