Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm at about main and main street
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
