It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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