I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
