I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize