At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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