also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
