Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
True but thats because hes a fetus.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
