you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
