it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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