you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
