imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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