I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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