we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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