Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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