I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize