You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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