I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She is in my trunk
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize