She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize