You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
