My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
