Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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