he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
