I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I need to stop coming to work sober
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize