Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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