Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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