we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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