I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
