This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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