She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just gargled with NyQuil
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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