a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
