That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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