Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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