I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
