I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We need to rekindle our bromance
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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