im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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