Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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