with your own penis?
her vagine was all disorganized.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
