he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
