That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
