she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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