my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
