Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
