when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
