Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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