a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
