The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
