Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
