will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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