kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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