Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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