I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
