White coat. Heels.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
