I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
