Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
