I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish you could order shots online.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She made me pour olive oil on her.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
