he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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