Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
