I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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