Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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